Dear Little One,
There are many things I wish I could tell you. There are so many words of wisdom I've been saving inside of me for the perfect moment, the one that is so full of love you can hardly breathe. The one that gives you goosebumps because of how wonderfully surreal it is.
I've had a few of those moments in my 22 years, and I suppose, I truly do owe a lot of them to you. Without you changing lives the way you did, I wouldn't have that, and God, I would hate to ever lose those precious moments, no matter what the future holds. No matter what kind of heartache is going on now or is to come, I would keep those moments and memories all to myself for a lifetime. Sometimes, I can't believe it all happened...I can't believe you loved me, but you did, and I know it, and I loved you right back to infinity. I hope you know that. I hope you understand and accept and love me still.
I don't have it all figured out, not by any means. Most days I barely remember to eat, I can't find matching socks and my deodorant has disappeared again as I try to rush out the door from one destination to the next. But here is the thing-behind closed doors, everyone is that way. A little late, a little rushed, a little lost.
But people like you make it worth it. At least, it does for me.
I think of all the things you have to learn, and I am filled with joy because such beautiful things are to come your way. But, at such a tender age, you undoubtedly know of the bad things too. Heartache. Heartbreak. Loss. Lies. People like me, who try do right in the wrong way. Those things are okay, mistakes are okay. I can promise you that in the aftermath of it all, there is healing, redemption, hope, and peace. I promise. Nothing you do could make me love you less, do you understand that? I wish that I could hold you and protect you from it all. I wish that I could make things better and take away hurt. I wish that I could keep you little and innocent and full of life and love and laughter and wonder...but I can't. But I can restore those things when hope is lost and life is rough and I will. I know I will for you.
The key to life is to hold on to the good things, the things that don't change with time, the good things promised to us from above. Love. Friendship. Goodness. Find those things and fight for them. Society doesn't place an importance on these things, but they are the most important things. To love freely and be loved in returned is the most comforting, wonderful thing.
This one might be a little long, because it's important. Friends-good ones- are the remedy for any lemons life throws straight at you. I know you know that and I know you've seen that and I just hope you remember what you know as you get older-it's the little things. It's investing in each other's lives. It's forgiving and not holding grudges, but learning to love someone even more. It's praying together in times of darkness and pain and need, a tempest against the storms. Two is better than one, sweet one. Always. The best of friends are the one who find it okay to be vulnerable together, to be sad together, to be honest with one another. I hope you meet at least one friend in your life who gives you their all, even the bad. Even if it seems heavy. Because when their burden is too heavy for them and you have to carry it, just know that there will never not be a time when that favor is returned tenfold.
Of all of your relationships in life, two of them require zero selfishness, and that's being a spouse and being a best friend. It requires a lot of time and energy and effort. of course, it will never seem that way, but when you look back on the years spent together and the times and moments you've been there, you'll see just how much of yourself was given away, and when it comes to someone who doesn't have to love you, but does...you want it to be only the best of you that they receive. Guy friends are amazing. They have the muscles to help you out physically, they give the best hugs, and they offer new insight and perspective, but little one, nothing beats a good girlfriend. They laugh with you, cry with you, get angry with you. You can be crazy with them, wild with them, honest with them, goofy with them, comfortable with them. They adore you the way your mama does. They'll be the sisters you wanted to have, and the best aunts/godmoms to your children, and having a good girlfriend, a best one, is just a really special thing in life. Seeing them grow up, get married and have babies...it really puts things into perspective, makes life all come together and make sense. It's about the love we create while we're here.
So when it comes to them, don't be afraid to apologize, or be honest, or be raw. Letting someone in even when it hurts is part of our journey here.
Being a good person, having integrity and honesty, that's what I hope for you. You have such a bright little spirit and I pray the world never takes that from you, sweet one. Being strong and courageous against wrong-doers is a rare trait, but it will take you far.
School is not about teaching you how to do calculus or memorize geography. It's teaching you how to learn, how to be open, how to absorb information. I hope that you excel by the state's standards but continue to grow in your own ways. I was never phenomenal at school. I slacked off a lot and aced "social life", but someday you'll wish you had given all of yourself, all of the time. These days I'm a little sponge, questioning everything, learning how and why things work the way they do. Learning doesn't always happen inside of the classroom and I just hope you pursue whatever your interests are.
Finding a job you love is key. Something that pays the bills, but more importantly something you are madly passionate about and can apply to all areas of your life. I'm right in the midst of this one, but I can let you in on a secret: any job I've ever grown tired of, looking back I regret not leaving sooner. Here's another tip: don't sass your manager!
There are a lot of little tidbits I can offer...
Mascara on your lower lashes makes you look tired.
Drink lots of water.
Wash off your make up before bed.
There is more, so much more, and someday I know I will get to share it all with you. I believe it to be so. For now, believe in yourself, your beauty, and your abilities, as I do.
XOXO,
V
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