I can feel
it bubbling inside of me. Excitement, anticipation, joy, a dash of nervousness.
All for the future. I’m right on the cusp of it. I can hardly believe the rest
of my life is going to unfold soon. I’m so excited. I can do anything, be
anything. I can go anywhere. For now, my heart is yearning for the sweaty salty
air of California. The crashing, cold waves and the eccentric people and the lust
for life. God, I want that. I just feel it’s the next step of my journey, to be
there. To be anywhere but here.
I’m not
sure what I want to do next. I have vague ideas. Go new places, try new
restaurants, take up hiking, fall in love, make enough money to have a
beautifully furnished home and pay back loans and buy a new car. I want to be a mom and a doula, but I don’t want to go back to school again. I
want to have incurable wanderlust. I want to sink my toes into the beaches of
France and eat the Paella of Spain and see the architecture of Italy again. I
want to buy a new car. I want my business to be something great because I
believe in what I sell. I want seven kids (for now!). I want to try and live in
each state for a short period of time. I want to experience costume designing at least once,
even if I hate it. I want to learn to cook because, I’m actually pretty bad at
it. I want to own a bike, a really nice mint one. I want to learn to like
breakfast. I want to marry a handsome tall man surrounded by everyone I love. I
want him to adore our daughters and be a role model to our sons. I want to find a really delicious wine and drink it on the patio with a well-loved book in hand. I'd like to pen some poetry and get it published, the kind that stirs something in people. The kind of poetry that makes a heart string twinge and evokes tears and brings smiles. I want to meet an author. I want to meet Amber Tamblyn and tell her what it means to have her sign Sisterhood Everlasting, even though it's not her work. Perhaps I'd like to start blogging and make something of it. Not silly teenage angst or tortured college writings. I want it to be a cozy, quiet corner, not a loud one.
I want to feel the rain of London on my skin. I want to experience the hustle and bustle of New York. I want to go to a music festival and be one with the music and everyone else. I want to have a large wrap around porch with a swinging bench hanging. I want to wake up to mountains outside of the window. I want to try a fresh coconut in Hawaii.
Here's to whatever comes next.
