Thankful For...

I listened to my father and brother brainstorm about some kind of activity to do on Thanksgiving. We were going to have about 15-20 people in the house, and for some reason they felt the need to make up some kind of game to do after everyone had grazed enough. It sounded kind of silly, and I would much rather be eating than sharing my feelings. I didn't pay much attention until the activity started.

Everyone drew a word out of a hat.
Someone
Something
An Event

You had to say something you were thankful for that matched up with what you got. My dad told me to get my camera because people were going to start crying and sure enough, third person in, my mom, is blubbering like a baby in typical Diana fashion. I looked into my hands at the word I had. Something.
I thought about what I could say. As people went around telling the circle what they were thankful for, I only listened half-heartedly because I was formulating my own response. I had this big lump in my throat half way around the circle and by the time it got to me I was a mess. I had to go to my make-shift room, since I know longer have one in that house, and cry. It turned into sobs, the loud kind that break your own heart, the ones you think won't stop. It lasted for a long time.

This year has been the hardest one of my life. I've had family problems and nearly moved out. I had money problems-like literally not even enough money to buy a package of toilet tissue. I've had boy problems-letting go of my "first love"-although that's all solved now but at the time it was rough. School has kicked my ass and I'm pretty sure I've failed 2/4 classes this semester but all of that pales in comparison to the fact that...
Two of my friends died within three months of each other. 

Justin and I had been friends since our sophomore year of highschool. We had Geometry class together and he attempted to help me. We had a computer class together the following semester and we hung out outside of school. Senior year he was a Starguard for our dance team so I got to see him. We hadn't hung out since highschool let out and the day I after I got home from my Cali Vacay, I learned he was killed in a motorcyle accident.

Danielle (Dana) passed away on October 10, 2011. I was with my aunt at Ghengis Grill, enjoying lunch. She jumped on facebook on her phone and I did too. Scrolling through my updates I saw two familiar names listed with an RIP. Clicking on the status, I learned that my sweet friend had died too, in what turned out to be a quadruple fatality accident. Twin brothers Stephen and Michael were killed. I had gone to school ALL of my life with these boys. We weren't exactly friends, though I had hung out with them often my sophomore year because my ex-bff and ex-bf were good friends with them. Dana and I had gone to school together for TEN YEARS. We grew pretty close our senior year, and we talked often via facebook. When I had those family problems, I called her. Three months later, she was gone.

It has not been easy to deal with. It has taken a toll on my academic life, my social life. For about a week after it happened, I barely talked to anyone. There are days when I still don't. It hurts the same as it did when I found out (especially at night).

Four people are gone from this world. Four people that I knew, two people that I loved. I am grateful to wake up every morning, when they cannot. I am grateful to celebrate holidays with my family and feel the love, whereas they cannot anymore.

People say it will get easier. Missing someone DOES get easier. But missing someone who is gone forever...I am convinced that it will hurt every day for the rest of my life.

Fashion Friday!

I might start posting for Fashion Friday, maybe I'll start doing fashion posts five days a week, who knows. But THIS post is in lieu of Wardrobe Wednesday. I didn't want to post because I wanted Daisy to have her own spotlight (and I hoped you found her information helpful!) Without further adieu, Fashion Friday!

 It was EXTREMELY cold Wednesday morning, so there are long johns under those tights. They are very thin and sheer so the only place you can tell is the bottom, where the cuff cuts off at the feet. I suggest this idea if you are planning to wear tights this season, because I have a feeling it's going to be cooooold.


HEADBAND-Forever 21
DRESS-Gifted (Thanks Daisy Ann!)
TIGHTS-Wet Seal
BOOTS-Plato's Closet

Oh yes, and my hair is all gone.
xxoo, V

Give a WARM welcome to Guest Editor, Daisy Ann!

This Tuesday, I dragged Varissa out of the apartment and went on a Winter Coat Hunt. I had warm things, yes, but I didn’t have the quintessential winter coat that I was in—let’s face it—desperate need of, especially since it’s still early December and we’ve already seen some light snow/ice in the morning. I didn’t want to spend more than 20 dollars, and I was fully equipped with a list of things I wanted. I was on the search for the perfect coat. I managed to get lucky at Ross, and found my dream coat for 14.99.
Considering my recent success, Varissa asked me to write this for her. So here we go!

Things to consider while shopping for a winter coat:
1.    Consider your existing wardrobe. Much to Varissa’s chagrin, my wardrobe is almost entirely black, with some grays. I tend to rely on accessories for my pop of color, when I feel like it. (Read: hot pink pointed ballet flats.) Because of this, I would have been relatively safe if I had decided to go for a brightly colored or patterned coat. There was actually a lovely blue coat that I looked at, but it didn’t fit me right. In the end, I went with a nice heather gray coat—almost as easy to match as black, but refreshing and light.

2.    Be picky about the fit, and don’t worry about the size. This is sort of a personal crusade of mine. I think we worry about the number as opposed to the fit, which is nothing but bad. Would you rather look good in something I size bigger than you normally wear, or look bad just because you managed to fit into a S or M? That’s what I thought. Alright, I’m off my soap box.
a.    Consider the sleeves. You want to be able to raise your arms to shoulder height without the sleeves riding too far up your arm. Alternatively, you want to make sure it doesn’t look like you’re seven and wearing your father’s coat. (I tried on a checkered gray one that did just this.)

b.    Make sure you can button it! With my lovely apple shape, I made sure I could comfortably button every single button from waist to neck before I bought it. This is where the size thing came in too; I actually went two sizes up from my normal size, because I wanted to be sure it would fit, and it’s generally a good idea for coats to be a bit bigger so you have room to move and layer things.  
c. Consider the length of the coat. I actually have a proper winter coat, but I was silly and went for the dramatic look of a knee length which looks very weird on my proportions. Something waist length that went just past my belt line was what I went for in the end.

 
3.    Finally, make sure you’ll be warm enough. This coat is still cotton, so when it gets to be late winter and the ground is covered in snow, I may have to layer things up with a hoodie underneath. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make, which leads us to my final and most important point.

4.    Make sure you love the coat. Sure, I like to wear long cardigans and I’ll have to do some finagling with the layers to make sure it doesn’t look silly. Sure, it may not be quite warm enough for the dead of winter. But for what I was looking for? It was the perfect coat.

About the Author:

Daisy Ann, as I affectionately call her, has been my friend and roommate for the past three months. She is as awesome as they come. She is a junior at UNT, studying to become an English major, and she has this dry sense of humor that never fails to come out of nowhere and send me into fits of giggles. She is eclectic, and honest, and knowledgeable about every subject on the planet. She can cook like no other and has helped me out a time or two (or more). She has amazing taste in music. She is always there when I need her-and always there when I need her to talk me out of buying something. We bonded through weekly trips to Plato's closet and Walmart, in that order. She is slowly starting to throw on something other than Black (yay!) and I am so proud of her, though I love her regardless of what she wears. Oh, and I learned today that she screams like a banshee when she is scared.

Sugar&Spice

If you know anything about me, you know I can't cook. It's a damn shame considering that I'm the oldest of five, but it is what it is. I started my sophomore year of college knowing how to make spaghetti and that was it. Thank God for my patient parents, who have walked me through recipes countless time. Thanks to them, I can now cook beef tips and rice, bacon, fried chicken, Italian chicken, rigatoni...that's about the extent of my cooking skills.

Despite being clueless in the kitchen, I love being there. I love adding different seasonings to dishes, trying new things, adding whatever is in the fridge into a pan and browning. SOMEDAY I will be a Betty Crocker, complete with fresh organic vegetables from the local farms, beautiful vintage plates hanging on the wall, a fresh bouquet on the table, a homemade lasagna cooking in the oven, and a knowledge of spices other than Garlic Salt and Onion Powder. Today, I'm starting small with a quick but yummy recipe perfect for this colder weather!

BAKED APPLE SLICES

Ingredients:
1 Apple (as red as possible)
1/4 cup of sugar
A dash of cinnamon
1 Tbsp maple syrup
Makes 1 Serving

Start off by peeling your apple. You can do this when it's in wedges, but it's easier to do it when it's whole (I shaved five minutes off of my prep time by doing it beforehand.)

 Using a handy dandy apple corer and wedger (a knife will work just fine) slice your apples and toss out the core.

 Put your apples in a bowl and add your cinnamon, sugar and syrup. I don't exactly have Maple Syrup, and being a poor college kid, I just used whatever I had in my pantry. It worked just fine, I promise :)

 Stick your bowl in the microwave for four minutes and thirty seconds-this softens the apple.

 When it's done, take it out but CAREFUL! The bowl might be hot. The sugar and cinnamon will be melted. Stir up the ingredients making sure to coat as much of the wedges as possible.

Wait a few minutes to let it cool off. I like to add in scoops of vanilla ice cream, but if you don't wait long enough, the hot apple slices will melt the ice cream and it becomes soupy. I know it smells good but really try to let it cool off. Enjoy!
xxoo,
V

Wardrobe Wednesday

Hey loves! It's been a while since I've had a fashion update. Between breaks where I do nothing but stuff my face, trying to fix my grades and fighting the cold weather that's slowwwly creeping into North Texas, I haven't been feeling very "cute" so I decided to change that in a BRIGHT way.

 

The pants were given to me by one of the roomies. I know, I know, you might be thinking high waisted shorts in the Winter? And HOT PINK at that! But, I anchored them down with three winter staples: Boots, Tights, and a Cardigan. I was inspired by the hot pink hue to play with femininity-so I added a classic strand of pearls (with a metal twist), a bow head band and well, I WANTED  a red lipstick but mine's is MIA at the moment so I settled for a cranberry Mary Kay lipgloss. I loved the way this outfit came together. Hope you're inspired!

 HEADBAND- Burlington
EARRINGS- Forever 21
CARDIGAN- Kohl's
SHIRT- Forever 21
NECKLACE- Claire's
BELT- JC Penney
SHORTS- Gifted
TIGHTS- Forever 21
BOOTS- Steve Madden

xxoo,
V

Death and Dying, Part I

Death leaves nothing behind when it goes.What it leaves behind are things people cannot see-an aching emptiness that sneaks up on you and reminds you of the relationship lost. Grief so immense that with every breath you take, you are afraid that you are going to be crushed under the weight of it all. Tears that don't stop coming, even when you think you can cry no more. Lonlieness, isolation, even when you are surrounded by three goofy roommates. You can feel your face stretching into some distorted shape-a smile, a plastic one. Confusion. Are you dreaming? Is this real? Why her? Why so soon?
Blackness. That is what I think of when I visualize the things death has left me with. Bitterness, anger, sadness, emptiness, hopelessness...it all mixes into the darkest shade of black one can fathom. And it is up to you to paint over it with color.

A splash of green for the green phone she was ALWAYS on.Pink because of how rosy your cheeks turned when she mentioned you LIVE on webcam. Red for how much love you have for her, and how much love she had for...everything.

Add some music because of the time she reminded you how much love LOVE Existentialism on Prom Night. And because she loved Taking Back Sunday, and her goal was one day to meet them. Turquoise because of that weird shirt she always wore. Add a white peace sign to symbolize how accepting she was of everyone, as quirky as they were.

Death leaves you with a hole in your heart. One that you carry with you always. I am learning that you HAVE to fill that hole-with memories as simple as these. The time she talked to you about wanting a pink and black prom dress. She was going to borrow her sister's, but she ended up buying one. It seems dumb, to build up that hole by calling to mind such random memories but isn't that how you became friends? A string of meaningless minutes that led to hours and a lifetime friendship (Death ends a life, not a relationship.) Suddenly those trivial moments aren't so meaningless and you are sobbing because you can't remember HOW you can became friends, but you did. You loved this boy dearly, you went to Putt-Putt with him and tried to concentrate in math class as he attempted to explain Geometry. You got a hug from him every time you saw him, you watched in awe as he played the guitar for Seguin's Battle of the Bands, you loved the song so much you went home singing it. These things matter. They mattered to Danielle, Justin, Stephen and Michael and they matter to me, because it's all I have left.

Our heats beat...
And break.

Fall Swap Shop-My Clothing Swap Party

I love shopping. It's quite an addiction these days (but I really do need more long sleeves, mom...) As a college student with bills to pay and no job, shopping just isn't in my budget unless I'm taking home something from goodwill, and I try to avoid even that.

Plato's has been a Godsend (or a temptation created by the devil himself...) If you're not familiar with what that is, you can take your gently used (most of the time name brand) clothing and they will sort through it and give you cash based on what they want to take and resell. They also accept shoes, purses, jewelry, scarves, and belts. Depending on where you live, Plato's can be VERY picky. Here in Denton, the girls of Plato's will not take clothes from Shasa or A'gaci, two stores in my Arlington mall but back home they will.

So what to do with the clothes left over? Most of the time I donate it but here in Denton there aren't a lot of donation drop boxes, if there are any. Soon the clothes was piling up and I turned to my favorite blogger for some inspiration.

This June I read about Joy's Summer Swap Shop and I thought it was an amazing idea! I knew I had to do one of my own, and I was convinced once the clothes starting piling up. I made a list of girls I wanted to invite, and I was limited since I'm here in Denton. There was about ten girls on the list and I messaged them and got a poor response. So I tried again, in person and more people were interested. They gave me ideas on who to invite and soon the invitation was created and sent out!

When it comes to inviting people, the sites I read suggested inviting no more than 15 people, because it can get chaotic. My final invitation list included 20 people! My friend offered up her apartment  so I knew how much space I had to work with. I started out inviting all my girlfriends, even the ones who didn't like to shop.(I kept in mind the 80/60 rule...most of the time 80% of your guest list says yes, and when its time to start, only 60% of those people show up. This proved to be true for me!) I tried to be considerate when it came to sizing, making sure each girl had someone who was a similar size, and for those who didn't, there was still shoes, bags, and jewelry to choose from! Candace really saved the day. She buys clothes of all sizes on clearance and then alters it to her size, so there was lots of XL,L,M,S and XS clothing.

A clothing swap is a great way to meet new people! Girls really open up while browsing for clothing. My guest list was full of friends, good friends and aquaintances and those who made it out had a lovely time. I really wanted this to be a fun, girly event so I requested everyone dust off those heels and wear them to the party! After about an hour they were kicked off and we sipped on lemonade and dined on cupcakes, cookies, peanuts, chips, homemade guacamole and spinach dip and grapes.

It lagged a little at first, with only three guests there within the first thirty minutes, but three more soon followed. Small turn out? Yeah, but for my first party, I thought it was wonderful. It was small, intimate, and no one was fighting over clothes. Not physically anyway. Normally, however many items you bring is how many you can take home and we implemented that at first but after realizing how much clothes we had, we let it just be a free for all!

 The clothes AFTER everyone had  picked through it. I took home that purple scarf!

My Friend Kristi and I. I was trying out the outfit and she was breaking in her boots. QUITE the steal. If only my feet were smaller :(

Samm, trying on a FIERCE tank top, with another in hand!

Kristi trying on a sweater, Candace looking through the selection!
(Note the clothes on the floor. We ran out of hangers!)

Kristi again, showing off her new hat, jacket, and boots. Very New Yorker-ish!

Sofia, one of my new friends, brought her Mary Kay products for us to try out. Unexpected surprise :)

My loot! 8 shirts, 1 jacket, purple shorts, a purple scarf, a "tutu" skirt and a cute hairtie!

I had planned for weeks, literally about three, and before I knew it, two hours had flown by. Everyone helped clean up and bag the unclaimed items, which I donated to Goodwill. We excitedly planned for the next one-Spring of next year! That way everyone can get their unwanted clothes from home and contribute a little more. I am so excited, and so grateful that my first Swap Shop went so smoothly!


If you're wanting to throw your own clothing swap, get to it girly! I plan on posting some do's and don'ts, as well as some things I learned that would have been helpful to know before hand.
Stay tuned!

xxoo,
V

Wardrobe Wednesday

The weather today was in the low 60s. It's still doing that weird fluctuating thing. Hot cold, warm cold, cold cold. I bought this long sleeve shirt yesterday, I just love the color. Tights are an essential fall item and just to be fun I paired it with my "tutu" skirt that I got at the swap shop I held a few weeks ago. Animal patterns are still trending so I paired it with some peacock earrings and called it a day. Hope you're inspired!

EARRINGS-Forever 21
TOP-Plato's (originally from Forever 21)
SKIRT-A steal from my Swap Shop!
RING- Burlington Coat Factory
TIGHTS-Forever 21
FLATS-Ross

UMC

I've spent the last several years (five and a half) role playing, so I am familiar with several acronyms most may not be aware of. UMC means under major construction. I hope to be up and running soon!